I want to forgive, but it is just too hard…
Forgiveness is not always easy. It can be very difficult, especially when we think of the pain and hurt. It becomes even more complicated when it is loved ones hurting us, those we hold very dear and close to our hearts. A parent, a spouse, a child, a sister or brother; people we hold in high esteem. We are aware that we ought to forgive them but we just can’t seem to move past the pain and hurt in our hearts. We may even say we have forgiven, but the very thought of the perpetuators brings pain or anger in our hearts.
Is it possible to completely forgive and forget?
YES. A resounding yes! It is totally possible to completely forgive and forget those who have deeply hurt and pained us. There is no pain, no hurt that the death of CHRIST on the cross did not deal with. His blood dealt with it and we don’t have to live with that pain and hurt. Where do I get my confidence to say that it is possible? Have I experienced every kind of pain and hurt there is?
No, I have not. I will not possibly go through all the kinds of pain and hurt, BUT, I know that on the cross JESUS said it is FINISHED. All the pain, all the hurt, the shame that we would ever have to endure, He dealt with it once for all. The blood of Jesus that was shed at the cross is the confidence I have in the knowing that true forgiveness is not only possible, but has been done.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. (Isaiah 53:2-5)
God has never asked us to do something that He has not empowered and enabled us to do. Everything He asks us to do, He has done in Christ Jesus to ensure our victory. All SIN was forgiven once for all at the cross through the death of CHRIST. We are assured of God’s forgiveness when we confess and repent from sin.
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:9)
God’s mercies are new every morning. Each day presents us with fresh new mercies from God. From His forgiveness of our own sin, from His mercies, flows the grace we need to forgive those who hurt us.
How do I forgive? How do I practically move past the pain and hurt?
Many wait for the pain and hurt to end before they can forgive. Forgiveness precedes healing. Only after we have made the decision to forgive does the inner healing work begin. Forgiveness is the key to healing of our inner pain and wounds inflicted by loved ones. Forgiveness is a choice. We choose to forgive, to give mercy. It is something we decide to do, in light of how much we have been forgiven by God. Once you get an understanding of how much God has forgiven you, and how daily He forgives you, the choice to forgive and be merciful to those who hurt you is made much easier. Any resistance to offer forgiveness is a reflection that we have not fully come into understanding of the extent of God’s grace in our own lives. Thanks be to God, who has given us the helper, the precious Holy SPIRIT to help us in our weaknesses. He is available to us, and will surely help us to genuinely forgive those who have hurt and pained us. He not only empowers us to walk in righteousness and in truth before God , He will also heal our hearts of the pain and reconcile us to God and to one another.
For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:19)
Choose to forgive, choose to offer mercy.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I thank you for reconciling us back to yourself through Jesus Christ. Thank you for always forgiving us, each time we come asking for forgiveness. Lord, I pray that you will help us to choose forgiveness. Help us to choose mercy. Reveal to us the extent of your grace and how much you have forgiven us. Lord I bring before you everyone whose heart is in pain and hurting. I pray that you help them to forgive and open the door to their healing. Thank you Lord. In Jesus Name, AMEN.